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Romance Fading in Tanzania’s Marriages, Has Modern Life Changed Everything?

Marriages

Creator: Cunaplus_M.Faba | Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

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Marriages have been rare; men lack courage, and women lack patience. Korean movies teach girls to go after the men they want, and men have lost the opportunity to settle with one partner. However, this does not mean there is no faithful or committed relationship.

It’s Tanzania; people are either Christians or Muslims, and traditional marriages still exist in rural areas. Muslims have the advantage of divorce and permission to marry more than two wives.

However, divorce is still a threat to men and women; on the contrary, Christians have no divorce and no permission to marry more than one wife; this does not mean there is no divorce among Christian marriages or that Christian men have only one sexual partner.

Children are the most affected members of the family, and no one appears to care for them; men tend to desert their children not to provide financial support for school, healthcare or anything, while women are tirelessly burdened by the responsibility to provide and nurture.

Street children, child labour, pregnancy to girls below 18 years, drug use, theft and robbery are considered not to be problems; they call it “Shani ya Mungu” (God’s will).

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Being a single mother has become a compliment to women. It has encouraged even those who receive financial support from their divorced husbands not to acknowledge the co-parenting and effort they made for the well-being of their kids for the sake of being called a single mother or superwoman. As a result, children grow up to recognise mothers’ love and effort only.

Street children grow up not because of care, nurture, support, training, and protection from their parents or guardians; no, they grow up because they have survived the struggle independently.

No farm or forest is in our streets, so you can not depend on nature. Still, instead, you have to act on it, for bad lucky children end up being prostitutes, barmaids, thieves, and drug dealers.

You can be collectors, to good lucky ones ending up being a “bodaboda“, carpenters, mobile phone repair technicians, etc. There are a few breakthroughs in having stable and formal jobs, such as teachers, lawyers, nurses, journalists, customer care, receptionists, etc.

Men are advantageous since providing financial support is not compulsory even when authority is involved, and there have been corruption scandals in Tanzania’s police forces.

Some women are not courageous enough to take their ex-husbands to the court or police station. Men keep on impregnating women and run from responsibility, so proud to introduce the number of children they have and women they have slept with to be considered as “lijali” (gentleman).

I am so relieved to see a few street residents civilised from and breaking generational curses. I don’t know if it’s a curse or ignorance. Thanks to Korean and Indian movies, at least they teach men some romantic tips.

Bongo movies have played an essential role in breaking some harmful traditions and practices as well as encouraging women to be financially stable and invest in personal growth.

Pius is a Political scientist and pan African, Champion of Cambridge Development Initiative 2017.

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Sylvester Mathias
Sylvester Mathias
22 days ago

Good article, abut women loans from the government has become the source of most devoces. Can’t be satisfied by their husbands’ support.

Svend Kraemer
Svend Kraemer
19 days ago

Many single mothers in the EAC find themselves “sugar-dadies” from Europe and America in order to survive;

TinyURL
TinyURL
16 days ago

Hey, I’m Jack. Your blog is a game-changer! The content is insightful, well-researched, and always relevant. Great job!

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